I’ve been in therapy off and on for most of my life since I was 8 years old. I used to hate it because I was forced to go after my parents divorced and then needed to go but resisted it when in highschool when struggling with mood swings, keeping up in school and making some poor dating decisions which unfortunately continued into my late 30s. I’m now 40 and after 5 years of no therapy I decided to go back after heading the advice of my friend despite feeling like I was overall coping and doing well.
I was down to do anything to improve my success at work, trying to date again after divorce and figuring out how to be the best mom I could and break some generational patterns that still liked to visit. I thought I had “done all the things” including doing to yoga routinely, loosing 75 pounds, doing my Calm app most days, trying different medications for my depression and anxiety over the years, and finally broke up with my toxic boyfriend. It wasn’t until I started therapy this time did I realize just how disconnected from myself I really was despite being known by my group of friends as the stable grounded one.
Yet, I got to know myself during this new therapy in a way I never had before in my entire life. I didn’t know there was so much resistance stuck in my body that subconsciously was trying to protect me. Working with Andrea allowed me to safely let my guards down didn’t know I even had. After a year I have been able to use the “power of the pause” more consistently and am forever grateful. She has helped me become friends with my nervous system, thus years of my inner child’s unmet needs and patterns that were created.
I used to beat myself up for self-sabotaging good things until I learned how to pause and have compassion toward that protector part inside of me who thought it was helping me. It has been life changing to speak kinder to myself, explore my passions and give myself permission to play, feel pleasure and actually rest. And this is coming from someone who was known as a partier and always down for a good time, yet not realizing that was just my way of avoiding and distracting myself. Although I don’t go to therapy as often anymore, simply thinking about my experience this go around helps motivate me to keep showing up for myself and for that, I am forever grateful. For anyone who thinks therapy means you have to be in crisis, you are wrong. It’s been beyond helpful even when you think things are good!
